“You have to be reading the Bible every day. EVERY DAY. You must cultivate the discipline of being in God’s Word and spending quiet time with Him every day.”
“It isn’t enough to pray in your car on the way to work. You have to find the time every day to spend alone with God. He wants to be the most important thing in your life and you have to make that dedicated time for Him.”
“Set your alarm for a half hour earlier in the morning. You need to spend that time reading and praying so that you can start your day out right. If you don’t do this, you will not be prepared for what is going to come at you during the day.”
I have been hearing this kind of message throughout my life. If you are in the church world very long, you will hear it from the pulpit, from your Sunday School teacher, from the youth pastor, from you small group leader, from conference and seminar speakers and from your friends. I have been hearing more than normal lately, and have been feeling guilty because of it. I’ve also been wondering if that’s really what God intends for us.
When I was a teenager, I started getting the message of how important it is to read the Bible every day, read the whole Bible in a year, etc. I asked my parents for a One Year Bible for Christmas, and when I got it, I committed myself to doing it. The whole Bible in one year. I started out pretty well. Genesis and Exodus are interesting. Leviticus was hard because of all the tedious laws about the sacrifices, the different offerings, cleanness and uncleanness, etc. There was enough story in there, though, that I stuck with it and Numbers. I was getting bored, though. All the instructions regarding the building of the temple and ark and the curtains, and altars and tents, and clothes for the priests, and rings to hold up the curtains, and the job of each different priest and rituals for the sacrifices and what to do with the meat and the fat and the blood, and on and on and on. Soon I was a few days behind, then a few weeks, then I had stopped altogether. When I realized I had broken the commitment I had made (to God and my youth pastor and myself) the guilt set in. I tried really hard to catch up, but it was just too overwhelming and I ended up just giving up.
The next New Year, I made a resolution, again, to read my Bible every day. I did well for a couple of months. I was so proud of myself for developing the habit and being disciplined. But then school got harder and finals came and before I knew it, I had not been reading like I wanted for a few weeks. The habit I worked so hard to get into disappeared with no effort whatsoever. Once again, the guilt set in. Why couldn’t I do this? There must be something inherently wrong with me that makes me so undisciplined. God must be so disappointed in me. Other people can do this, why can’t I?
This cycle has repeated itself so many times in my life, that I have sort of accepted that I’m just never going to be able to live up to the standards that God has for his children in this area. I do keep trying, hoping that this time, God will help me and give me the strength to keep going, and finally be the Christian He expects me to be.
The last few months have been a bit of a dry spell for me, in terms of reading my Bible and doing my devotions. Here’s an example of why.
Monday’s schedule:
6:45 – Get up. Get the kids up. Get them going in getting ready for school. Get myself in the shower.
7:15 – Tell the kids they need to get dressed and make sure they have clothes picked out to wear. Get myself ready for work.
7:45 – Remind the kids that they still have to get dressed because today is a school day.
8:05 – Grab a couple of granola bars for the kids because they haven’t eaten breakfast yet, give the kids their backpacks and drag them out the door.
8:10 – Drop them off at school. Drive to work and pray that I’m not late.
8:28 – Arrive at work just in time. Begin the work day.
5:00 – Leave work and head home.
5:15-5:20 – Arrive home. Eat some dinner quickly.
5:35 – Start getting everyone ready to go to church for Celebrate Recovery tonight
5:50 – Leave for the church
6:05 – Arrive at the church and rehearse the worship for tonight’s meeting
7:00 – Lead worship for CR and attend the meetings
9:30 – Head home from church
9:45 – Make the kids get themselves ready for bed
10:00 – Get the kids in bed
Once I get the kids in bed, I have a little time to spend talking with my husband, maybe relax and watch an episode of something on tv, answer my email, or read a book and then get things ready for work in the morning and go to bed around midnight. Before bed is usually when I read my Bible. But, I’ve been taught that this isn’t the right way do to it. The “right way” is to do it in the morning. If only I was a morning person.
Every day isn’t like this, but Wednesday is similar. Thursday, too. If I were to get up a half an hour earlier, then I’m up at 5:45 and I’ve gotten only 5 to 5½ hours of sleep (assuming I fall asleep right away). According to the marriage classes I’ve taken, if I want my marriage to work, I should be praying and reading the Bible with my husband every day, so I need to make the time for that in my schedule. I also need to be doing devotions with my children every day or I am neglecting their spiritual development. So I’m failing on that account, too. And, I have to have my own, personal quiet time with God. Every day. I’m not saying it’s impossible; I’m sure there are people out there that know how to make this work. I just haven’t figured out how, and it is a great source of guilt in my life.
Recently, based on something I heard on Air1 (the Christian music radio station I listen to), I’ve been rethinking this whole thing. The DJ said something along the lines of this: “Your relationship with God should be a relationship. I don’t know about you, but I don’t talk to my friends every day. Not even my best friend. There are even days I don’t get to talk to my wife all day, because I’m out of town or something. That doesn’t mean I don’t love her or that she isn’t a priority in my life. If I go for a period of time without talking to a friend, I call him up and say, “Dude, I’ve missed you. What’s going on in your life.” It’s no big deal. They aren’t offended that I’ve been busy. Why do we think that things should be so different with God?”
I’m sure there are all kinds of theological answers as to why “things should be so different with God”. I’ve been mulling this over, though, during the past few weeks. Christians haven’t always had the Bible that they could own for themselves and have the luxury of reading every day. Until the invention of the printing press, even the ministers didn’t have copies of the Bible to preach from. First century Christians only had the copies of the letters that later became the Bible that they passed around between themselves. Generations of Christians lived and ministered and spread the gospel without a Bible. Were they less saved than we are? Were they less sanctified? Did they have less power in their daily lives because they didn’t have a Bible to read on their own, every day; if they could read at all?
I’m not trying to downplay the importance of the Bible or reading it on our own. I absolutely believe in the value of reading the Bible. I feel blessed to live in a country where they are easy to come by and I own several different versions. I have read the whole thing. (Just not in the space of one year.) However, I don’t remember reading anywhere in its pages, “Thou shalt read thy Bible and spend 30 minutes praying every day”, though.
Here are a few verses I did find that are somewhat related to the subject.
Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Joshua 1:8
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give our ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. Deuteronomy 11:18-21
Pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:17
I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:11
If there is something in the Bible about the need to be reading it and spending designated time alone with God, and you know where it is, please show me. Most of what I’m seeing, though, involves keeping our minds on the things of God.
I talk to God throughout the day with mental prayers about whatever comes up. I contemplate the things of God while I’m doing my job, caring for the kids or making dinner. I'm sort of inclined to think that maybe that's good enough for Him.
So, what do you think? Are we held to different standards because we do have the Bible? Do you think it’s ok to go a few days without reading it? Is it ok to use commuting time in the car as “quiet time with God”?
Do you think that God intends for us to feel this pressure to “be in the Word” every day or could this be a modern day – evangelical version of salvation by works? Since the enemy is soooo good at taking something wonderful and twisting it around to trip us up in any way he can, could this be something that he uses as a way to convince us that we will never be able to live up to God’s expectations and to keep us striving for something we can never attain and feeling downtrodden instead of resting in the grace of God?
Maybe it’s just something the enemy uses on me, because up until now, it has worked.
I would love to hear your perspective and comments on this subject.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Just Wait. I'm Not Done Yet.
Last Sunday morning, I was helping my daughter get ready for a kids choir performance at church. We were in the bathroom and I was helping her dry her hair after her shower. I asked her to flip her hair over so that I could make sure the underside was completely dry. When she flipped her hair back, she looked in the mirror and frowned at her reflection.
I turned the dryer off. “What’s wrong, Honey?”
Her brow furrowed and she folded her arms. “My hair is so messy! Everyone will laugh at me.”
I tried not to laugh. “Well,” I said, “I’m not done yet.”
“But it’s all poofy and it looks funny. I don’t like it.”
“Sweetie, I know it looks kind of crazy right now, but it’s not finished yet. Just wait. It will be fine I promise.”
She only scowled at the mirror, unconvinced. “Watch and see,” I told her.
I went back to work, brushing, blow-drying, curling and hair-spraying. Slowly the scowl melted away.
“Now,” I said when I was done, “how does it look?”
A smile lit her face. “Good.”
“Does your mom know what she is doing?”
“Yeah,” she said reluctantly.
“Even when you can’t see how it’s going turn out?”
“Yeah,” she responded.
“Maybe next time you’ll trust me?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Go get your shoes on. It’s time to go.”
It wasn’t until God brought that conversation back to my mind the next morning that I realized the significance of it. How many times have I had that same conversation with Him?
“God, I’m following you and trusting you to guide me, but look! My life is a mess! What’s going on?”
I’m not done yet. Don’t worry.
“But God, I don’t understand! Don’t you see what’s happening? What kind of witness can I be for you when nothing is working out?”
I have it under control. Trust me.
“I know I should trust you, but…are you SURE you know what you are doing? I mean, this is a disaster! What are you doing to me?”
I’m taking care of it. Just be patient.
…
…
…
…
OK, Beloved. Look now.
“Oh. Well, how did you do that? That’s amazing! I can’t believe it!”
So, does your Father know what he is doing after all?
“I guess so.”
Even when you don't understand what’s really going on?
“Yeah.” (sheepishly)
Will you trust me next time?
“I’ll try to remember.”
Of course, the time table we are on isn’t usually the 10 minutes it took me to fix my daughter’s hair. The amount of time we will have to wait to see how our Heavenly Father is working things for our good varies greatly from situation to situation. It can be months or years (or longer) before we get a glimpse of how God is weaving together the threads of our lives with the threads of others into a beautiful and intricate pattern. And, like in a tapestry, the individual threads are only aware of their own twists and turns and those around them in those moments when their paths happen to come into contact. From the inside, I can imagine that it would look like a huge mess. When viewed from above, though, the true design of all the intersecting threads can be seen. It’s so much bigger and so much more intricate than we can fathom. Much of it, though, won’t be understood until we truly view it the way it was intended to be seen. From the vantage point of eternity.
Be confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
I turned the dryer off. “What’s wrong, Honey?”
Her brow furrowed and she folded her arms. “My hair is so messy! Everyone will laugh at me.”
I tried not to laugh. “Well,” I said, “I’m not done yet.”
“But it’s all poofy and it looks funny. I don’t like it.”
“Sweetie, I know it looks kind of crazy right now, but it’s not finished yet. Just wait. It will be fine I promise.”
She only scowled at the mirror, unconvinced. “Watch and see,” I told her.
I went back to work, brushing, blow-drying, curling and hair-spraying. Slowly the scowl melted away.
“Now,” I said when I was done, “how does it look?”
A smile lit her face. “Good.”
“Does your mom know what she is doing?”
“Yeah,” she said reluctantly.
“Even when you can’t see how it’s going turn out?”
“Yeah,” she responded.
“Maybe next time you’ll trust me?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Go get your shoes on. It’s time to go.”
It wasn’t until God brought that conversation back to my mind the next morning that I realized the significance of it. How many times have I had that same conversation with Him?
“God, I’m following you and trusting you to guide me, but look! My life is a mess! What’s going on?”
I’m not done yet. Don’t worry.
“But God, I don’t understand! Don’t you see what’s happening? What kind of witness can I be for you when nothing is working out?”
I have it under control. Trust me.
“I know I should trust you, but…are you SURE you know what you are doing? I mean, this is a disaster! What are you doing to me?”
I’m taking care of it. Just be patient.
…
…
…
…
OK, Beloved. Look now.
“Oh. Well, how did you do that? That’s amazing! I can’t believe it!”
So, does your Father know what he is doing after all?
“I guess so.”
Even when you don't understand what’s really going on?
“Yeah.” (sheepishly)
Will you trust me next time?
“I’ll try to remember.”
Of course, the time table we are on isn’t usually the 10 minutes it took me to fix my daughter’s hair. The amount of time we will have to wait to see how our Heavenly Father is working things for our good varies greatly from situation to situation. It can be months or years (or longer) before we get a glimpse of how God is weaving together the threads of our lives with the threads of others into a beautiful and intricate pattern. And, like in a tapestry, the individual threads are only aware of their own twists and turns and those around them in those moments when their paths happen to come into contact. From the inside, I can imagine that it would look like a huge mess. When viewed from above, though, the true design of all the intersecting threads can be seen. It’s so much bigger and so much more intricate than we can fathom. Much of it, though, won’t be understood until we truly view it the way it was intended to be seen. From the vantage point of eternity.
Be confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
My God Shall Supply All My Needs...
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19
I grew up in church. I have been in church nearly every Sunday of my life. I know this verse. I also know that this verse, among others, teaches us that we are supposed to trust God to take care of all our needs (and this means “needs”, as in food, shelter, and clothing, not “I need a new iPad”), and problems. What I haven’t been able to work out, is how to do that while still living in the day-to-day of those problems, though.
I do believe that God will meet all our needs, in theory at least. The challenge comes when in a good month the paycheck doesn’t stretch far enough but then in a bad month, the car breaks down, the rent is past due and the landlord is threatening eviction. I pray about these issues, but I don’t see the car miraculously healed or money fall from the sky to appease the landlord.
Now, I can look back at that month and see that we got through it. Barely. We came up with enough money so that we didn’t get thrown out of our home and the car eventually got fixed. It was hard, though. Really hard. And scary. I didn’t know how I was going to get to work, some days. This is how my thoughts go in a time like that, “If I can’t get to work, I won’t be able to earn any money. And if I can’t earn any money, I can’t pay for the car to get fixed. If we can’t get the car fixed, I can’t get to work. If I can’t get to work, I can’t pay the rent. If I can’t pay the rent, we have nowhere to live. If I have nowhere to live, the kids will get taken away. . . .” And on and on it goes. If I go down this path, I’m living in panic instead of peace.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Peace of God, which passes all understanding. It sounds so wonderful. I have experienced it before, but that was in a very difficult crisis situation. I don’t think that this peace is meant to be only for crisis situations, though. I’d like to think that God means for us to have it all the time.
Recently, I realized that I think myself out of being peaceful. I can’t let myself just be. I don’t know how to be content with how things are and where I am. I’m trying to trust God to direct my steps and answer my prayers, but I can’t help trying to figure out when He’s going to move and what he’s going to do. If left unchecked, my mind will go through endless “what if” scenarios, which I know will never happen, because:
"My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8
I know that I’m relying too much on my own knowledge, which I’m not supposed to do because:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverb 3:5
Besides, when I can’t figure out how things will ever work out, I get discouraged and depressed, which only perpetuates the cycle. The thing is, God has reasons for doing things when and how He wants, and I should be able to trust that He has everything well in hand.
I should be able to. I’m working on it.
Philippians 4:19
I grew up in church. I have been in church nearly every Sunday of my life. I know this verse. I also know that this verse, among others, teaches us that we are supposed to trust God to take care of all our needs (and this means “needs”, as in food, shelter, and clothing, not “I need a new iPad”), and problems. What I haven’t been able to work out, is how to do that while still living in the day-to-day of those problems, though.
I do believe that God will meet all our needs, in theory at least. The challenge comes when in a good month the paycheck doesn’t stretch far enough but then in a bad month, the car breaks down, the rent is past due and the landlord is threatening eviction. I pray about these issues, but I don’t see the car miraculously healed or money fall from the sky to appease the landlord.
Now, I can look back at that month and see that we got through it. Barely. We came up with enough money so that we didn’t get thrown out of our home and the car eventually got fixed. It was hard, though. Really hard. And scary. I didn’t know how I was going to get to work, some days. This is how my thoughts go in a time like that, “If I can’t get to work, I won’t be able to earn any money. And if I can’t earn any money, I can’t pay for the car to get fixed. If we can’t get the car fixed, I can’t get to work. If I can’t get to work, I can’t pay the rent. If I can’t pay the rent, we have nowhere to live. If I have nowhere to live, the kids will get taken away. . . .” And on and on it goes. If I go down this path, I’m living in panic instead of peace.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Peace of God, which passes all understanding. It sounds so wonderful. I have experienced it before, but that was in a very difficult crisis situation. I don’t think that this peace is meant to be only for crisis situations, though. I’d like to think that God means for us to have it all the time.
Recently, I realized that I think myself out of being peaceful. I can’t let myself just be. I don’t know how to be content with how things are and where I am. I’m trying to trust God to direct my steps and answer my prayers, but I can’t help trying to figure out when He’s going to move and what he’s going to do. If left unchecked, my mind will go through endless “what if” scenarios, which I know will never happen, because:
"My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8
I know that I’m relying too much on my own knowledge, which I’m not supposed to do because:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverb 3:5
Besides, when I can’t figure out how things will ever work out, I get discouraged and depressed, which only perpetuates the cycle. The thing is, God has reasons for doing things when and how He wants, and I should be able to trust that He has everything well in hand.
I should be able to. I’m working on it.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Sometimes . . .
Sometimes I think there must be a place where things go right and life is not so hard.
Sometimes I think there must be a time when everything isn’t falling apart.
Sometimes I think that if only I was smarter, more talented, stronger, more determined, then I wouldn’t always be struggling.
I’d like to know where that place is.
I’d like to know when that time will be.
I’d like to know how I can be whatever I should be so that things would go easier.
I’ve been learning that no matter how it looks, everyone has pain.
Everyone has struggles.
Everyone is just trying to do what has to be done to get by.
It just doesn’t seem that it should be that way.
Maybe I’ve just grown up watching too many movies that ended “Happily Ever After”.
Maybe I’ve seen too many tv shows where the problems are all solved by the end of the hour.
Maybe I have an unrealistic view of how life “should” be.
I wonder if people who lived in the old west felt that they were meant for more than what they were doing.
I wonder if people in medieval England thought that life wasn’t meant to be so hard.
I wonder if ancient Egyptians longed for a time when problems didn’t exist.
I think the pioneers must have looked at the vast night sky and wondered about their place in the universe.
I think the serfs must have watched the royalty and wished for that kind of life.
I think the slaves must have daydreamed of being an owner rather than the owned.
How strange that we all want purpose and value.
How strange that we also want everything to be easy.
How strange that no matter where we are in life, we want things to be different.
It makes me think that we must all be born designed to live in God-created Eden, but are thrust instead into a world designed by men. This place, with it’s sin, hierarchies, jobs, rules, and expectations is so different from what we were meant to live in that something within all of us knows that it just shouldn’t be this way. We just don’t know what to do to make it right. There’s no way to fix it, so we just do whatever we can to dull the pain of it. We try to block out the wrongness of it.
I think that’s why, as Christians, we long so much for Heaven. We know that finally things will be right when we get there. When being here becomes more than we feel that we can bear, we hold on to the hope that one day we won’t have to be here anymore. We can someday be where we were meant to be. We can be in the place with no more tears. We can be reunited with those we love who are no longer with us. We can be with the One who gave His life for us. We can be where we belong, because we certainly don’t belong here.
Sometimes I think there must be a time when everything isn’t falling apart.
Sometimes I think that if only I was smarter, more talented, stronger, more determined, then I wouldn’t always be struggling.
I’d like to know where that place is.
I’d like to know when that time will be.
I’d like to know how I can be whatever I should be so that things would go easier.
I’ve been learning that no matter how it looks, everyone has pain.
Everyone has struggles.
Everyone is just trying to do what has to be done to get by.
It just doesn’t seem that it should be that way.
Maybe I’ve just grown up watching too many movies that ended “Happily Ever After”.
Maybe I’ve seen too many tv shows where the problems are all solved by the end of the hour.
Maybe I have an unrealistic view of how life “should” be.
I wonder if people who lived in the old west felt that they were meant for more than what they were doing.
I wonder if people in medieval England thought that life wasn’t meant to be so hard.
I wonder if ancient Egyptians longed for a time when problems didn’t exist.
I think the pioneers must have looked at the vast night sky and wondered about their place in the universe.
I think the serfs must have watched the royalty and wished for that kind of life.
I think the slaves must have daydreamed of being an owner rather than the owned.
How strange that we all want purpose and value.
How strange that we also want everything to be easy.
How strange that no matter where we are in life, we want things to be different.
It makes me think that we must all be born designed to live in God-created Eden, but are thrust instead into a world designed by men. This place, with it’s sin, hierarchies, jobs, rules, and expectations is so different from what we were meant to live in that something within all of us knows that it just shouldn’t be this way. We just don’t know what to do to make it right. There’s no way to fix it, so we just do whatever we can to dull the pain of it. We try to block out the wrongness of it.
I think that’s why, as Christians, we long so much for Heaven. We know that finally things will be right when we get there. When being here becomes more than we feel that we can bear, we hold on to the hope that one day we won’t have to be here anymore. We can someday be where we were meant to be. We can be in the place with no more tears. We can be reunited with those we love who are no longer with us. We can be with the One who gave His life for us. We can be where we belong, because we certainly don’t belong here.
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